Love as distinct from "being in love" is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both partners ask, and receive from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself.
Author: C.S. Lewis Source: Mere Christianity, p. 99.
When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now.