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Humorous Quotes


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    Humorous quotes by:    

The trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed.

    Author: C.S. Lewis

A little lie is like a little pregnancy-it doesn't take long before everyone knows.

    Author: C.S. Lewis

A woman means by unselfishness chiefly taking trouble for others; a man means not giving trouble to others. Thus each sex regards the other as basically selfish.

    Author: C.S. Lewis

I have made this letter longer than usual, only because I have not had the time to make it shorter.

    Author: Blaise Pascal

Good executives never put off until tomorrow what they can get someone else to do today.

    Author: John C. Maxwell

Remember, man does not live on bread alone: sometimes he needs a little buttering up.

    Author: John C. Maxwell

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.

    Author: Henry Ward Beecher

Clothes and manners do not make the man; but, when he is made, they greatly improve his appearance.

    Author: Henry Ward Beecher

No man is sane who does not know how to be insane on proper occasions.

    Author: Henry Ward Beecher

A book reads the better which is our own, and has been so long known to us, that we know the topography of its blots, and dog's ears, and can trace the dirt in it to having read it at tea with buttered muffins.
- Charles Lamb

    Author: Assorted Authors

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
- Charles Dickens

    Author: Assorted Authors

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
- Charles Dickens

    Author: Assorted Authors

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